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How to handle telemarketers (nicely)
NIKON D70 - 1/3200 sec, f 4.5 at 31 mm, ISO

How to handle telemarketers (nicely)

I hate telemarketers as much as the next man. Yes they always call at dinner time, during the best parts of my favorite TV shows or when I attempting to get jiggy with Gabba (go on, picture that in your mind).

But, at the same time, I realize they are people too, just like me (possibly), trying to feed their family*.

What I have found though is that there is any easy way to get rid of telemarketers without making them feel like shit. It also gets them quickly off the phone so that they can make their next call. After all, they are in a numbers game. The more calls they make, the better they do.

So I offer here my advice. Free to you, as a service.

If you think the telemarketer is selling anything that will require financing or is to do with the home (vacuum cleaners, chemical house washes, window cleaning, mortages). Tell them you don't own the house. Tell them you are renting. Yeah I know that will be a blow to your ego and all. But would you prefer a puffed up ego, or making someone else feel like shit? This is especially useful if the telemarketer asks to speak with the homeowner. That's a 7 second call. Sorry, I don't own the house, click. It'll be them clicking though, not you.

If it's someone calling about helping you to save on long distance, they invariably ask you who you are with now. Make up a name of a company and tell them it's a local provider. That will bugger them. The scripts they are provided deal with the major well known companies. If you name Kamakooza Telecom Ltd as your long distance provider, they are completely stuffed. They don't have that in their script. They will hang up to move onto the next call.

And you have my personal guarantee that those methods work.

*The same argument could be made, I guess, for drug dealers, burglars, insurgents and used car sales people.

And somewhat unrelated, it looks like this is becoming a tradition.

The Photo
I went mad in potatoshop tonight. I thew everything I have learned in the last couple of weeks at it. I made a dark and stormy sea out of really nothing at all. It's possibly still no good now? If you are interested, this is how it started out.

Captured: 2005:03:28 13:48:43
Posted: Tuesday, August 8, 2006, 8:27 pm


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